Wednesday, April 1, 2009

My Plate is Full ...

Pin It ... but my cup runneth over.

I'm going to try to make that my new life's motto. Or maybe I need a motto that doesn't revolve around FOOD. LOL.

I am completely overwhelmed with life right now. Overwhelmed nearly to the point where I can't even see straight. In the midst of the things going on with Troy (please continue to pray for him and his family!) and Jim leaving, I'm dealing with my reaction to Jim leaving, and the girls' reaction to Jim leaving, and the various emotions with all of that. Most of these are not pretty, and I should probably just leave it at that.

In case that wasn't enough for me right now, here's a picture of this week and next:

Monday was a wild, busy, crazy day ... fun, but I was completely exhausted by the time it was over. Then Tuesday, we took Brendan to the doctor to get some lymph nodes looked at. I was expecting to leave with a prescription for antibiotics. I left with surgery scheduled. (It's 4/9, btw.) Today was thankfully a quiet, easy day. Gabbi and I got haircuts. Nice when that's the only thing on the schedule. Tomorrow should also be an easy day, and I'm happy dancing about that. Friday, the kids and I are going to meet a long time online friend in Houston. I've never met her IRL before, so I'm really excited about that! Monday, Gabbi goes to Houston for a doctor's appointment, and it's entirely possible that we will leave there with some sort of medical intervention planned. Wednesday, Brendan has to go to the hospital for pre-admission stuff and bloodwork. That oughta be fun, right? Thursday is his surgery.

All of this is going on now, and I'm also making plans for a couple of months from now, just trying to figure out how to make everything work, and just dealing with what life is going to look like then.

Did I mention that I'm overwhelmed? MY PLATE IS FULL. Thinking of things like folding laundry is too much for me right now. I've decided to start thinking of the laundry on the couch that needs to be folded as a new slipcover. You know, that patchwork look. It works in there. Plus, it cycles through pretty quickly, so we don't have to worry about getting bored with it. :-P

Through all of this though ... I have to tell you, my cup runneth over. Amazingly, awe-inspiringly (yes I know that's not a word), blessedly running over. The love and support of friends has just blown me away. The ability to be completely honest and let the ugliness out and know that I'm not judged for it, and to know that I'm being prayed for and cared for and just loved ... wow!! A friend said just today that if the Lord placed her in a certain situation solely for the purpose of putting her in this circle of friends, it was worth it. I have to give that a big, hearty, AMEN.

I'll be honest with you, I'm wondering where the life I thought I had went. I know that sounds all melodramatic, and I apologize for that, but it's where I am right now. Things that I trusted and held on to seem shaky at this point, and I'm wavering between a couple of extremes. Even my faith is shaky, which is completely insane because I've *JUST* seen God's hand work a mighty miracle.

You know what's amazing, though?

God is being gentle with me. He is sending me friends who listen to me, love me, and gently remind me that He is still God. I can seriously feel Him telling me that He knows this is not what I want, but that He is still there, and that He understands. He is all about restoration, and is patient with me while gently bringing me along. I'm doing an awful job describing it. Maybe you've been there and understand. Or maybe you really are starting to wonder about my sanity right about now.

I'm wondering why it is that I start out to write a silly post or just an informative post, and frequently end up putting some really personal thoughts out there! Why is that?

So there's what's going on in the life of Melanie these days ... my plate is full, but my cup runneth over.

5 comments:

Becky said...

Been there, am there, right in the middle of the "gentle restoration" process with you. Isn't He good to us? And aren't you glad He can take it when we lose it? Like, stand-in-the-hallway-with-a-migraine-and-your-child's-vomit-all-over-you-because-he-was-stressed-out-by-rejection-at-church-so-you-accuse-God-of-a-really-sadistic-sense-of-humor lose it?? Not that that's ever happened...

Jessilynn said...

I love you Melanie. Big hugs as the Lord Himself brings you through all of these things. I thank God for His Peace that passes all our understanding.

Micah said...

Quiser here...
you could always do what I did...
start scraping stuff of your plate onto someone else's.
LOL
Seriously though... I love you and I will do everything I can to help. I wish I could make it all go away honestly. But since that doesn't seem to be working...

Jessica said...

Oh Melanie. I really loved this post. I love the honesty. I think that all of us can find some part of it that we can identify with.

I am so sorry that you are so overwhelmed(and understandably so). I will continue to keep you in my prayers. We all love you very much!

Gratefulwife said...

I can really relate to not knowing what happened to the life you thought you had! But you know, I think if God is changing that life, it must be for something better--at least in the long run. And maybe, just maybe, He is taking away our security blankets so we will rely ONLY on Him. He is enough, friend--when we have nothing else to hold us up, when everything is different and constantly changing and chaotic and scary--He is all we really need.

We love you guys and we're praying for you. Put us on the list of folks who will do anything and everything to help--24/7.