Thursday, April 16, 2009

When life takes a detour

Pin It I've been thinking about posting for a few days and haven't been able to come up with exactly what I want to say. I'm getting a little tired of my ongoing pity party, and if *I'M* getting tired of it, I KNOW everyone else is. There's just so much to deal with! I get one area somewhat figured out and something else pops up. I'm really trying to learn to be a "go with the flow" type person ... and well ... I'm just not. If you've parted your hair on the same side every single day your entire life and then suddenly switch sides, it's GOING TO stick up a bit. That's just how it works. So here I am, with my sticking up hair, realizing that I can't just switch it back to the other side ... okay, well, my metaphor isn't working here, but for whatever reason, I can't just make it go back to the way it was. I want to make peace with my sticking up hair, and it's happening a little more frequently day by day, but there are still moments when I catch my reflection in the mirror and it scares me.

The one thing I'm trying to do now is come up with a schedule. That's the one thing that will probably be a little easier with Jim gone. His weird work schedule keeps us on a weird schedule at home, without a consistent bedtime and getting up time. That is going to change, and I think we'll all benefit from it. I'm working on some chore charts too; may as well get that started ASAP. (And I do mean ASAP - Mad just finished sorting the silverware and Gabbi is unloading the dishwasher as I type.) We're going to not take a real break from school other than during VBS and our vacation to Spokane so that we can be finished with school when Jim gets back. Plus, it's just too hot to be outside too much during the summer, and although my kids would love nothing more than sitting around watching Boomerang all day, after about an hour, I start to twitch, and twitching mamas are not good things.

I've also been working on some other rules, mainly to give me a little bit of privacy around the house. Example: you may interrupt my shower to tell me that YOU are bleeding. You may NOT interrupt my shower to tell me about other bodily fluids. You may DEFINITELY NOT interrupt my shower to tell me about the bodily fluids of the pets. (Yes, I had this exactly conversation with one of my children yesterday ... while showering.) Other example: unless it's a gift certificate to someplace for grownups only, you may not slide notes under the bathroom door.

All of this is to say that we're going to be fine. :) I seem to have found my sense of humor again. It was behind the chair, always the last place you look! I'm sure I'll find things I like, to borrow my earlier metaphor, about sticking up hair ... and when it's time to take it back to the other side, I'm sure it will stick up again and we'll have to adjust all over again. (And for a control freak like me, it's entirely possible that that will be the more difficult adjustment.)

People keep telling me that I need to be sure to tell them what needs we have. If you're one of those people, I just love you for offering! Let me just tell you -- that's going to be tough. I will do it, I know I'm going to have to, but I'm a person who would really rather whine and complain and then do things myself than ask for help. Martyr syndrome much? Crazy, huh? I was telling my mom earlier today that I know the Lord has put me in the middle of a large circle of friends for just this reason. I've never, since high school, been part of such a fabulous, and large, group of friends! I can clearly see God's hand in it, and I am so blessed by it! I know one of things I'm going to learn through this whole detour is to rely on the family of friends and the church the Lord has given me. It's funny to think that as shocked as I've been through this whole turn of events, I can clearly see His hand moving over the past few years.

Okay ... as I've typed this, my son has rearranged the slipcover of clothes waiting to be folded on my couch. I suppose the laundry fairy didn't show up ... again. She's fired. Okay, she's me, so I'm not quite sure how well that whole firing thing is really going to work. :-P

Y'all be patient with me as I am still getting used to my sticking up hair.

(it occurred to me that this post DEMANDED a pic ... so I'm adding it now!)


Catt said...

HUGS to you Melanie...I'm suffering from "sticking up hair" too. I'm sure hoping it gets easier...I guess we'll both have to see!

Micah said...

Girl. I have one more CHART to suggest. God didn't provide this LARGE circle of friends for nothin! Large circle of friends means LOTS of opportunities to farm out children so you can BREATHE a couple of days a week. Seriously. :D

melanie said...

Oh this is great! I have a mental image of a bullseye up on the wall and everyone's names on there. I just throw a dart and that's who I'll pawn my children off on for that day! :-P

Gratefulwife said...

Hmmm......I think my hair is sticking up all over--like when you were in junior high and they made you touch that ball thing. Apparently God likes the sticking up hair look. ;-)

For the record, I think you're handling this very well. This isn't easy--but you're doing it!! :-) When we are weak, He is strong--and He is showing His strength through you. People (like a few little people we know) are watching--and they will see God's grace and faithfulness in this.

Becky said...

Oh, Melanie! I can so relate!! It's been a challenge for me to learn to ask MY OWN PARENTS for help; you know they're dying for time with the kids but I still fear imposing. (at least that's how I justify my martyrdom...)

I LOVE your dart-board approach.I wish I was one of the folks on the dartboard. I am praying for you daily. And, darlin', that whole "wildly abandoned, windtossed hair" look is the sexiest thing going! ;)

Micah said...

Absolutely LOVE the picture! LOL

Mom2Mcube said...

I definitely know what it's like to have your duckies in a row and then someone comes along and blows them out of the water. I do NOT like feeling out of control. After being a single Mom for nearly 4 yrs, I have just recently realized that the people that offer to help are sincere. I have begun to accept their offers. When it's 3 against one, you cannot be all things to all 3 at the same time.

My other advice: Keep your sense of humor. Sometimes it will be all you have to keep you going.