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Thursday, June 11, 2009

Okay, so the nights are rough.

Pin It I've gotten several emails and people asking me how we're doing. During the day, we're all doing well. We're staying busy with schoolwork and visiting with friends, and generally spending as much time in water as possible. Nights though ... that's where it gets a little more difficult. I've always giggled saying that I am slightly OCD due to things like being driven crazy by sippy cup lids not matching and the like. Now I'm starting to wonder though because I tend to check a few times more than absolutely necessary to see that all of the doors are locked. Maybe that's more of an anxiety thing though. It's weird because I'll be telling myself "I JUST CHECKED THE DOOR!!" and have to go do it again. That was typically Jim's job (and to be honest, I'd usually ask him more than once if he had made sure the doors were locked) so it's just weird to me to be responsible for it.

Like I said, we've been staying busy (and next week will be busy as well, with VBS) and I'm kind of worn out. I think during the day that I'm excited to be able to go to bed early or to sleep in, but I'm not able to sleep well at all. I used to not sleep well because I'd be getting up a few times per night for a certain bodily function (LOL) but some new medicine is fixing that. Now I'm getting up at night to make sure the doors are locked and just generally not sleeping well. Weird because I generally like sleeping alone. I like having the pillows arranged just the way I want them and having the fan at the proper speed ... and well ... super light sleepers like me enjoy the quiet. I'm up really late (for me, anyway) and I'm getting up really early. I think my cold isn't helping too much either, so maybe this is all a temporary thing, or amybe an adjustment thing.

The kids are mostly doing well. When we came home from a friend's house last night, Brendan didn't see Jim's truck and get excited that his daddy was home. He has asked me if his daddy was at work several times already this morning though. :( He is definitely missing his rough playtime, but should be able to fill up on that this next week because my nephew will be here, and he's GOOD at boy rough-housing! The girls seem to be doing okay. Gabbi has been such a help! I'll get tied up in something and look up to see that she has done the dishes or bathed her brother, or someting like that. Madelyn has had a bit of teariness here and there, but all in all she's doing well too. We're enjoying skype for the most part. We're all wondering how well that's going to work when Jim gets to Afghanistan in a few days.

Anyway ... so there's the "how are you doing?" update. I'm hoping to let some of the nighttime anxiety go soon and for the "this is our new life" feeling to go away and this to just become regular life, if that makes sense. I'm still going through a little shock over how all this happened, and still go between anger, sadness, denial, and being fine with it all. All in all though, I think this adjustment has so far gone as well as can be expected, and for that, I think I have the faithful friends who prayed to thank.

3 comments:

MamaJ said...

L-Tryptophan, it'll help you sleep... When Dan used to travel for work, I would check the doors and windows about a zillion times. Then I would get back out of bed to check on every little noise I heard in the house. (Which was a lot with two nocturnal cats playing around!) Praying for you!

gina m said...

Mel, something else to try is sleeping on Jim's side of the bed. It sounds weird, but it helps to not wake up and see his side empty. I didn't think it would help me, but it did.

Also, make yourself a checklist, and check things off each night as you do them. Then put the list by the bed, and when you think you need to check them again, look at the list. If it's checked off, it's been done. Remember, this is the adjustment period.

Still praying...it will get better.

Show Us The World said...

Nights were always hardest for me when Nathan traveled without me. I always tried to take that time to pamper myself and do things that I can't do so much when he's around-watch chick flicks, soak for hours in the tub, read tons of fluff books. It was still hard though. And that was for very short trips. I love that you are willing to be real about all of this. I imagine you will help someone else out there by being transparent. Sending hugs to you and your precious little ones.