Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Could I have some instant gratification, please?

Pin It I'm frustrated. And irritated. And to be honest, just plain ticked off.

I had a doctor's appointment on Monday. I was expecting it to go a little better than it did. Somehow, in six months, I managed to lose eight pounds. I'd like it to be more, but at least it's something. That's not what I'm so frustrated about.

My average blood sugars managed to go up a fair amount. Terrific. I think the actual result was a little misleading too, and not in a good way. Diabetes medication #17 was a fail because I kept getting lows with it. So, I know I took this medication faithfully for about a month, had a bunch of lows, which *should* have skewed my average blood sugars down. And yet it went up. Not only that, my blood pressure was up also. (It really is fine when I check it at home ... either my monitor isn't terribly accurate, or I just get all freaked out when I'm in the doctor's office. Not sure which.)

I exercised a lot. I kept track from mid-August up until now, and did not exaggerate at all. I ate well. I did everything right.

Are you following? I did everything right, lost like 1.2 lbs per month, my blood sugars got worse, even in the midst of a bunch of low blood sugars. My blood pressure was still elevated. In my mind, that makes everything over the last several months pointless. And that is frustrating.

Tomorrow I'm going to have the rest of my bloodwork done. (You know, the cholesterol and stuff like that.) I couldn't do this on Monday because my appointment was after lunch and I need to be fasting for this bloodwork. May I just say that I really REALLY want to see some improvement somewhere? Something to make the work worth it?

I know this sounds like a bunch of whining. Well, darn it, I feel like whining. Or eating ice cream. ;) It really is nice to be able to wear smaller clothes and to walk quickly to the park and not get winded. I mean, I definitely can see the benefits of the exercise, but if I still have doctors chasing me down with new prescriptions that I don't want to take, well, it's just frustrating to me.

So there's my pity party for the day. I'm really hoping and praying that tomorrow's bloodwork will look better than the bloodwork I had done six months ago. Just some kind of good results will be nice. :)


Micah said...

I'm praying for JUST the encouragement you need....might include a request for a load of motivation for myself while I'm at it. ;o)
Love you!!!

Becky said...

Ugh. I feel ya. Praying for a glimpse of the "worth it" for you. Proud of you for sticking with it, lady!!