Thursday, March 4, 2010

I am unequipped.

Pin It Sorry for my blogging absence lately. I've been busy being unequipped. Some moms, I understand, get to ease into the preteen years. Others get thrust into it overnight, or so it seems. I am CLEARLY into that last category.

Seriously. I woke up one morning and my sweet, compliant little girl was replaced with someone who walked in, growled at me, and requested coffee. She would also like her clothing budget quadrupled and an hour a day to spend on itunes, along with an unlimited allowance for that. While we're at it, could we please add unlimited texting, because (DUH MOM!) CLEARLY, 500 texts is just nowhere near enough.

I could have handled all of these changes happening over the course of a year. I'd probably still complain that my baby was growing up too quickly, but I like to think I could handle it spread out over a year.

But no.

This has all been in the last WEEK.

I am hopelessly unequipped, and unprepared. I really did think I had longer before having to deal with things like this. That's why we homeschool, right? Giving the kids freedom to be kids, so they don't have to deal with peer pressure to grow up too quickly.

Sounds great in theory, but as it turns out, they grow up when they grow up, and apparently, you can't stop it.

I've discovered that a whole lot of the "I won't let my kids do that" and "my kids will always do this" work really well, when the child is six. Maybe some of my theories need to be revisited though, now that the said child is old enough to have an opinion.

Don't get me wrong, she's a GOOD kid. She's not rebellious, not trying to get around the rules, or undermine them in any way. She's just growing up. She would like to know the reason for the rules, and for at least some of them, she has a right to know the reason. We've had some fabulous talks over the last week, and I'm so grateful for that.

That's not to say that I haven't had fabulous talks, then walked away both thanking God that she was talking to me about things that are going on, and pleading with God to give me wisdom to handle these various situations.

I'm trying to find out who I am as the mom of a preteen, and at the same time, I'm learning who my preteen is. This is really an exciting time for her, and for me. I'm so proud of her, and scared for me, and wanting to give her a little bit of freedom, and at the same time wanting to hold on tight.

(dang it. This was supposed to be a light-hearted post. Why on earth am I getting all teary?)

Okay, before I turn this into a big ole' sobfest, I'll just close it now. I know this is all completely normal, and even good ... and that the Lord will lead me to be the mom she needs, and will direct her footsteps as she grows up. I'm feeling very thankful that I know He will equip us both, but on my own? I've been considering hiding her away in her room for the next ten or so years.


Micah said...

Target has these really great gardening pads that you can kneel on when you pray. You're gonna need one.
Raising children helps us understand how much we truly need Jesus... his mercy... his salvation... his forgiveness... and his wisdom. Thank you Father. Thank you Son. And Thank you Holy Spirit.

(((big hug)))

Annette said...

Has Jim joined DADD yet?(Dads against daughters dating)You have equipped her with the tools, now she is experimenting with them and learning how to use them in the appropriate manner. Continue to pray and have those talks even if they become screaming matches, because God is directing your path. Love her and remind her you are always there to talk.

Joyce said...

My oldest daugther (who is now 21-wonderful age!) and I laugh about the fact that I say in 7th grade she disappeared. She was back in grade 8. Honestly I did not know who that child was when she was 12. On the other hand, she will say 7th grade was one of her favorites : )

Hang in there...I found my prayers for my children became more urgent as they entered their teens. There is also much to love about the growing up days.
You will have that too. Have a nice weekend!

Naomi said...

oh my goodness. I haven't hit that age yet with the kids but I can sympathize! Saying a prayer for you right now :)

meltedlikewaxps97_5 said...

Melanie.....all I can say is I'm right there with ya! I think I'll get one of those gardening mats Micah suggested! I've been in my closet quite a bit lately!