Monday, March 22, 2010

I apologize, but

Pin It My sarcastic nature is about to come out. Be prepared, or forewarned, however you want to look at it.

Dear neighbors with the dog,

I will be forwarding you the bills I have from the garbage I bought last night from infomercials I watched while I tried to drown out the sound of your dog. Your dog that barked loudly for about seven hours straight between two and four am. Your dog who clearly just wanted to be out of the 35 degree weather and didn't care who knew it. Even my own dog was all "Dude! Give it a rest, okay? I'm trying to sleep here!" I'm all for a good watchdog, and definitely appreciate that, however, if someone was breaking into your house for all of that time, they are highly incompetent thieves.

I shall think of you as I enjoy my new Shark vacuum, the new home gym, and the skin firming system, all for four easy payments of 49.99. And because I acted fast, I will also enjoy a new shark mop, some other contraption for the home gym, and an extra month of the skin firming system. I'm sure my body and floors will thank you as well. Not only that, since sleep wasn't an option, I suppose I'm thankful that you gave me the perfect opportunity to finish the laundry between infomercials.

Tonight if it happens to be super cold out? Please do us all a favor and let your dog inside. Don't make me chase you down with my new shark vacuum. Your cooperation is appreciated.

The Quiet, Light Sleeping Neighbor
(Although - this dog was loud enough to wake up the heavy sleepers in the house too.)

And I have to say -- this was one LOUD dog. When trying to figure out whose dog it was, I went through all of my immediate neighbors and although most have dogs, I canceled their dogs out because they either have yapper dogs or more than one dog. This was just one clearly large loud dog.

Whew. I feel better for getting that out. Maybe tonight will be a better night!

3 comments:

Becky said...

BAHAHAHAHA!!! "seven hours between 2am and 4am!" Girl, so sorry that you went through that but LOVING your gift with words! :) Sleep well tonight!

Jennifer said...

LOL...This is ha-larious!!

I hope the dog stopped barking long enough for you to get some rest the next night. Also, I hope you enjoy all those new contraptions you "bought"...lol.

LOL...anyway, thanks for sharing a laugh!!

MamaJ said...

Hilarious!! I'm sure living it wasn't fun, but writing about it was sure funny!