Finding What They Love and Do Well

Pin It I think it's hard to be the middle one, especially when the middle and oldest are both girls.  Especially when the oldest one has an ability that is noticeable.  I think the middle one tends to live in the shadow of the oldest one. This is really a bit ridiculous, especially in my family, because my oldest and middle are NIGHT AND DAY.  Seriously.

About two years ago, my friend suggested that we consider Taekwondo for our middle one.  Well, in looking for activities different than things her sister would be interested in, this may very well top the list, so we tried it.  I honestly did not expect her to enjoy it after the novelty of it wore off.

A new black belt!

I was wrong.

She is now a black belt.  She knows she can do something that her sister cannot.  This morning I walked into her class after it was over halfway over.  I watched, in fifteen minutes, her take on some leadership with younger kids and them respond well to her.  I watched her work really hard to learn a new skill.  I watched her fail at that skill a lot more times than she succeeded at it.  I watched her be frustrated and want to give up.  And then I saw determination.  And more hard work.

She did not master this skill today.  She did work hard, and she is planning to continue to work hard and WILL master this skill.

I love to see the pride she has in this.  She has developed friendships and confidence that she would never have had without it.

I'm not saying "everyone go out right now and enroll your child in Taekwondo!" but I am saying there is something fabulous that happens when your child finds an activity that is theirs.  Watching her work really hard to do this activity well is such a blessing!  Sure it might be easier if she and her sister were involved in all of the same activities, but it's worth the extra effort to see her shine in her own activity!

Homeschooling Elementary

Pin It

Is this not the best first day of school picture ever?

Really, he is fine with school starting.  He just doesn't enjoy having his picture taken!

A little bit better, little one!

So, in addition to my 10th grader and 7th grader, I have a second grader this year!  This one keeps things interesting.  Well, they all do, really.

We quickly found out that what worked for the girls doesn't work as well for him.  We made it about three weeks into the DVD program we were using before realizing that it was an exercise in futility because the entire time the DVD was on, I was having to try to get him to pay attention to it.  There was about an hour of DVD time, which we *crammed* into about two hours.  :-/  Thankfully homeschooling for a long time has taught me to be able to say "this is NOT working for us, let's let it go!"  So we did.  He is actually still using the same curriculum, just not with the DVD right now.  I really do want to go back and add the DVDs, at least for reading class in the future; we'll see how that goes.

He is using Bob Jones for reading and English.  English is a bit of a stretch for him right now, but really I'm okay with that.  Sometimes I still get stressed about it, then I try to remind myself that he'll be writing paragraphs again next year and the next year and for the next eight or so years after that, so it's fine if writing a paragraph in second grade is really too much for him.  Okay, I kind of have to remind myself of that daily.  He is reading well though, and actually does pretty well with grammar too.

For math, we are using CLE, but that ends this week and we're switching to Teaching Textbooks.  I have enjoyed CLE, and we may end up going back to it, but for now, my time is a priority and I think TT will be completely student driven for him, so we're going to give it a try.  He is pretty mathy, and seems to be excited about doing his math on the computer.  We'll see how it goes.

He is also using my beloved Heart of Dakota curriculum for science and history, and pretty much just enrichment of what we're already doing.  He is finishing up Beyond Little Hearts for His Glory.  I decided to make it work and to put him on the same path as his sisters, that we would do Beyond for first and second grade, Bigger for third and fourth, Preparing for fifth and sixth, Creation to Christ for seventh, Resurrection to Reformation for eighth, and then he will be on the same high school path as both sisters.  At least that is my plan as of now.  I try to be flexible ... to an extent.  I'm really not so much a flexible person, but by the same token, I don't want to have everything planned out forever. 

He also attends our co-op, and is learning about the fifty states there, along with science, literature, art, and music.

OH!  I have to show a picture of a mural his co-op art class did.  So fabulous!  They all worked together and this is the end result:

So, there is what each of my kids is doing for their schoolwork this year.  Sometime soon, I will have a post on what works for us as far as organization and planning goes! 

Homeschooling Middle School

Pin It I posted what the oldest does for school a couple of weeks ago.  I also have a middle schooler, and one in elementary, and thought I'd share what they're doing, both for my future reference, and for the fun of it!

Wow!  The middle one is in seventh grade!  Not quite sure how that happened so fast!

Schooling this one is definitely different from schooling her older sister.  The curriculum is mostly the same, but the methods are not!  She is much more hands on than her sister, and enjoys doing the projects and the more fun aspects.

She is also using Heart of Dakota.  She is just starting Resurrection to Reformation.  We do a weird one and a half year plan with her for these, mainly for my ease to make her high school match her sister's.  It's a four day a week curriculum, and we do three days usually.  She will finish this at the end of her 8th grade year.  This is covering her history and science.  We love HOD SO much!

She also uses Teaching Textbooks, Math 7.  She enjoys this and is doing well with it.

She also uses IEW for writing.  She is doing level B.  I have to say - I expected this to be more of a challenge to her than it is.  I kind of anticipated this taking two years but it looks like she will finish it in one.  I'm not really sure what that means for her writing for next year.  We may hit harder on grammar, or come up with a creative writing course or something.  (I'm definitely open for suggestions here!)

She is doing the Ultimate Grammar series as well, to hold on to the skills she already in grammar. 

Most of her real science comes from co-op, and she will be also doing literature and writing at co-op, as well as history and an overview of Spanish. 

I have a post coming about the little one, and then about how we organize it all on good days.  Maybe one day I'll post about how we organize it all on bad days.  ;)  I'll just mention that there may be chocolate and copious amounts of coffee involved.

Homeschooling in High School

Pin It The oldest is in tenth grade now.

(because what says First Day of School better than Starbucks and PJ's?)

Wow.  When we first started out and she was in PreK, I didn't really think we would still be homeschooling.  We started because she was ready for school, and yet public schooling for preK wasn't an option for us.  She had done Mother's Day Out programs, and we had recently moved, so I wasn't too familiar with the various preK options.  Plus, I had a continually sick toddler at the time, and taking the oldest to school and picking her up was more overwhelming than homeschool!  And now, however many years later, here we are.

I was so worried when high school began!  I'm a pretty scheduled, every blank filled in kind of person, with a bit of overachieving stuck in there.  Give me a transcript to fill out and suggestions of what is required to fill out that transcript and my inner drill sergeant comes out and OH MY HEAVENS we are GOING to get those boxes FILLED.

So the biggest challenge for me so far is relaxing a little.  She is never going to be a scientist, so I don't have to make her crazy and myself sick by ordering 35 little critters for her to dissect on the kitchen table.  We are doing a biology curriculum, but our real time and effort is spent on things that are actually useful to her.

We are still using our beloved Heart of Dakota curriculum.  This year she is doing Missions to Modern Marvels, and we are both enjoying it.  Right now we are on the cusp of the Great Depression.

We are still using Teaching Textbooks, currently in Algebra 2.  One of us is enjoying this.  One of us is not.  I'll just leave y'all to figure out which is which.

We are still using Institute for Excellence in Writing.  She writes pretty well, so this has been kind of fun for her.  She's doing the B Continuation.  I'm not sure where to go next year for her.

We are doing Biology 101, supplemented with the Landry Academy Intensive and co-op.  (I'll try to remember to write a review of the biology lab intensive!  We did this with a group a few months ago and thought it was fabulous!)

She is doing British Literature at co-op, and has already done a lengthy Shakespeare study.

She is getting government at co-op, and we're doing an economics supplement at home.

And of course music.  She is still taking piano and voice, and has spent sufficient time for a performing arts credit.  Also home ec, because she is a dedicated kitchen worker every Wednesday at church.  That girl is QUITE capable in a kitchen!

Because we haven't done a lot of testing, she is also taking an SAT class to help prepare for that.  I'm happy to farm that out!  We also take a PE class.

Sounds like a lot, doesn't it?  It really IS a lot.  It works for us though.  Her days aren't too long.  I think she will be well prepared for life and am content with her schooling.  I actually enjoy it most days.  I enjoy her!  When the days are long and it feels like one kid or another is needing me every single second and I want to go hide in the closet with chocolate, I can remember that I have 2 1/2 years left schooling this one.  Bittersweet.  That usually helps me make it through the day.  That and the aforementioned chocolate in the closet!

The Mom Heart Conference Part 2

Pin It Do you ever have great plans to do one thing or another and then get distracted by 476 things that need to be done, or just plain ole' regular distractions (um ... facebook, anyone?) and then realize that ninety minutes have gone by?  Um, yeah.  Me too.

Another topic that was brought up at the conference was to be intentional in our lives.  To me, this is saying "hey ... don't sit around and waste your time (on facebook or whatever) when it would be so much more preferable to set out with a plan and to do it.

If I am intentional with my time for myself - I get up early (which I usually do anyway, at least when I'm not tryign to recover from daylight savings time.  HATE time changes!) and plan to do my devotion or Bible study, or even to just sit in the quiet and take a few minutes for myself, then I'm in a much better frame of mind to start my day.

If I am intentional about loving my children - I KNOW the middle one needs some specific encouragement from me, and I KNOW the little one needs lots of hugs and snuggles to get his day started, and I KNOW the oldest one needs me to tell her to put her phone away (okay, probably not the point ...) and I intentionally set out to do these things, then maybe they will be in a much better frame of mind to start their days too.

This part of the conference really spoke to me about my mornings.  Mornings around here approximate chaos.  This one wants to eat, this one also wants to eat, but something totally different, this one needs to be dragged out of bed but then hits the ground running, this one gets out of bed easily but needs to be cuddled for a while, this one will sneak in and turn the TV on given half a chance, and this one starts pleading to have the day off of schoolwork.  Oh, and somebody usually needs to go somewhere and the dishes probably need to be done.  This does not make for a pleasant morning experience for anyone.

The thing is - it's the same every morning, and every morning feels like putting out a bunch of fires.  Why??  We all know what everyone needs and expects.  Maybe if we all awake expecting to intentionally meet those needs and expectations, then we can start off our days better, which will follow through.

We're giving it a try, anyway.  :)

The other thing, also revolving around being intentional, is for me to make every effort to notice the good character traits my children have.  I want to notice good behavior of course, but they need to recognize that more than behaving well, they need to have good character traits.  It's easy to notice this child's beautiful smile, and this child's very pretty shiny hair, and this child's cute freckles, and doesn't really take a whole lot of effort to compliment them on these things.  Noticing compassion, or thankfulness, or ... ahem ... tenacity ... ;) takes a little bit more effort on my part.  I want to intentionally notice these qualities and point out to my children that I notice them and appreciate them.

So ... those are my observations from the conference.  I really want to go again next year.  This year I was a little distracted missing my family and seeing my online friends IRL for the first time.  I took a lot away from it still though, and I am SO glad I went!

The Conference - Mom Heart by Sally Clarkson

Pin It Finally!  I'm going to blog about the Mom Heart conference!

I came home and people asked me to tell them about it and I found that I couldn't.  There wasn't a whole lot of processing time during the conference, and then we got home and hit the ground running.

The theme of the conference was perfect for me though:  My Mom Heart Matters.  Sally Clarkson is a fabulous speaker, very engaging and very real.  THOROUGHLY enjoyed her!  I think I would have totally loved to sit down and enjoy a cup of tea with her!

One of the areas in which I struggle is feeling like I don't matter.  I'm the maid, the nurse, the cook, the nanny, and the teacher.  All of this is fine, but it's so easy to get bogged down in all of the STUFF and not take care of myself and then get all resentful.  Not only that, but somehow I've bought into the lie that I MUST do all of this stuff, and taking care of myself is fine as long as it doesn't interfere with the important stuff that I have to do.  Somewhere along the line I convinced myself that it is selfish to take a few minutes for myself.  I totally get that it can become a selfish thing, but it's okay to get up in the morning and enjoy a cup of coffee and sit in a quiet house.    

Someone just recently told me that our children are not going to grow up and say "hey!  You know what?  My mom was always on top of the laundry!  That is what I appreciate about my mom!"  (Although - I do have to say - my grandmother was a STELLAR dishwasher packer.  I have inherited that fine skill.  So maybe there will be some appreciation for my laundry ability to trickle down.  Beside the point though!)  I don't want to be so bogged down in the STUFF that I can't enjoy my life.  The laundry will always be there - just today I got every bit of it sorted, washed, dried, folded, and put away, and guess what.  The laundry basket is filled again.  Such is life.

So ... my takeaway from the conference?  I matter.  My heart for my family matters.  It's okay if I leave the laundry some days and just relax and laugh at the silly antics of the kids, or sit and read a book.  Yeah, I know it still all has to be done, but maybe if I can relax a little, then when it has to be done, I'll be refreshed enough to enjoy it, or at least get through it with a happy heart.

(I will never be refreshed enough to enjoy vacuuming.  Just saying.  There is no refreshment in the world that would make vacuuming enjoyable.  Unless my vacuum cleaner starts spouting out Vera Bradley bags and camera lenses, I will always detest vacuuming and will pass that task off to someone else in the family.)

Okay, there are two more points that she hit during the conference that I want to blog about.  I think this is long enough for today though, so that will have to wait until tomorrow.

My Kids Are So Weird.

Pin It They have had me laughing lately.

The oldest - her sister walked off, leaving the refrigerator door open.  Oldest says "Leaving the door open is the worst mistake anybody can make becaaaaaaaauuuuuse .....???"  Silence.  Then she says "HEY, someone is supposed to finish the quote!"  More silence.  Then she hollers out "It could let in a GIRAFFE!!"

Um, hon?  That would be DRAFT.  Not giraffe.  So now I've been teasing her about letting giraffes in the house when she leaves the door open.

(And yes, I told her that was blog fodder and she's reasonably okay with that.)

The middle one - she and I are going on a mother-daughter date in a couple of weeks.  I did this with the oldest and I'm looking forward to it with the middle one.  I told her that it was a two hour drive from here to where we're going and she said she would bring her DSi in the car.  Then she said "oh wait.  I'll bet you want to talk to me about puberty in the car, so maybe I shouldn't bring it."

I nearly fell over from laughing.

(And yep, she knows I'm posting this too.  She may be less delighted with me posting this story when we're actually on our trip and she finds out what puberty actually means!  haha!)

And then there's the little one.  All five year olds are a riot by nature of being five.  Jim has this plaque thingie he's making to hold his coins that he has from military things.  The little one thinks these are very cool.  Sunday night he was looking at them wistfully and said to Jim, "Someday when you're dead, can I have one of those?"  Completely innocent.  I laughed so hard I cried.

It also cracks me up when he asks which foot his shoe goes on.  I'll tell him, he'll put that shoe on, then will ask me which foot his other shoe goes on.  Ummm ... thinking maybe you could figure that one out on your own, kiddo!  :-P

* hey - don't forget to scroll down one post and enter my giveaway for Ann Voskamp's book!  One Thousand Gifts!  *

Pity Party, Table for One, Please

Pin It Okay, so yesterday was not a stellar day.

Two girls gave me attitudes.  Some family members went to dinner and completely forgot about me.  Schoolwork lasted until after 4:00.  I did work around the house that a) nobody even noticed and b) nobody had a problem completely undoing.  A boy had a tummyache and then took a really late nap that had him still awake after 10:00 last night.  Visa Rewards started calling at 10:30 and at 11:07, on the third call, I got mad and unplugged the phone.  And I'm LEAVING it unplugged.  Oh, and the Wiimote?  The "alpha remote" is missing, lost after the younger two were fighting over what to watch on Netflix, which has rendered the Wii completely useless, which would be fine as far as the kids are concerned, but *I* enjoy it too and can't use it.

I think I'm taking the day off today.  It's 8:15 and the little one woke up complaining that a toy that I gave him for his birthday (IN AUGUST) was not the toy he wanted - seriously, first words out of his mouth this morning.

You know that brief window the day after a bad day?  When there is a chance for redemption and hope that this will not also be a bad day?  That window was closed within minutes of one child waking up.

So ... 8:15 and girls are still asleep.  They know what schoolwork is expected of them.  They know how to prepare their meals.  They know that if they don't complete their tasks, then they shouldn't ask for rewards such as having friends over, etc.  They're 9 1/2 and 12, and will be learning some independent life skills today.  I'm not going to harp on them about their schoolwork.  I'm not going to do their laundry, prepare their meals, or clean up after them.  I'm not even going to get them out of bed.   I will, however, apply the rule of natural consequences, should it be required.  (Oh, I am so sorry, hon.  You didn't finish your schoolwork?  Well, your DSI will be safe with me until it's all done and you have a happy heart again.  Oh, and that cell phone?  I'd hate for you to be tempted by it when you're trying to finish your schoolwork at 8 pm.  I'll just put it away for you.  Absolutely, your friends can come over!  Let me just make sure your work is done and your room is clean.  Oh?  It's not?  Oh well then, maybe next time.)

This unappreciated mama is taking the day off and will be hanging out with my Nook.  And possibly Starbucks.

(and I'm sure tomorrow I'll feel terrible for being all selfish today.  On this day, I don't really care.)

btw ... just took the little one to preschool and it's now 9:30.  Girls are still in bed.  I suspect it's going to be a long day around here.  For the record?  They do have an alarm clock.  The oldest has an alarm on her phone, which she has in there with her.

May I seriously ask?  What do y'all do when you work to manage the household and school and everything else and receive a total lack of appreciation and being taken for granted in return?  I mean, if you can't tell, partly my feelings are hurt by all of the attitudes.  Partly, I'm REALLY mad.  Mostly though, I see the brat trend going on and I want it stopped.  I do suspect that I do too much for them in some areas so I know at least some of the problem is mine.  Maybe when they ask to go see their friends play Upwards on Saturday and I sadly tell them that they can't because they chose to sleep until 10:00 and then play around, they'll understand a little.  Or they'll hate me all the more.

Sigh.  This parenting business is tough.

I do intend to enjoy my day off today though!  Anyone want to meet me at Starbucks? 

Progress!!

Pin It Remember this post? The one where I was struggling with a decision as to whether a certain TV show was appropriate or not for my children? And I decided that it wasn't? To much weeping and gnashing of teeth? And a child not speaking to me? And even sending me texts to tell me she wasn't speaking to me, in case I didn't notice?

We have progress, my friends!!

Last night I was given a list by one daughter of her friends who are allowed to see this show. I looked it over and said "that's nice" or something like that. Then the other daughter stepped in and said "hey, mom said she doesn't feel like that show is appropriate for us, and whether we like it or not, that's the rule." Awesome.

But want to know the REALLY awesome part?

The roles were reversed. It was the middle one who brought me the list, and the oldest one who was the voice of reason. To be honest, I don't think the middle one every actually saw the show. LOL She just doesn't want to miss out. ;)

That is not to say at all that there won't be a fit thrown at some point or other about it this week, but for now? Progress! WOOHOO!!

And again -- if you know the show I'm talking about and feel like it's fine for your children, that is FINE with me! I am not judging you!! I know an area where one of my children will have some especially sensitive nerves, and I know that this show will step on those nerves. It's a disputable matter, and not worth offending or being offended over. :) I am just delighted that at least one of my children is getting it that it's not just me wanting her to not have any fun!

Wanna help an orphan and my friend at the same time?

Pin It My friend Jessica is in the process of adopting a sweet little boy. To start the fundraising, she's having a raffle for a cute little cuddly creature.

For the little one that the Lord has placed in their hearts there is not much time before he is sent from an orphanage to an institution. From what I understand, once he goes to an institution, he is no longer adoptable. I think he is four, and to think of a four year old in an institution and considered unadoptable is heartbreaking.

She is raffling tickets for the cuddly creature for only $2. I read that and thought how $2 is not much money, and how on earth will they reach the amount they need with $2 at a time. BUT - my $2 and your $2 and someone else's $2 and someone else's $2 will add up to enough to bring this little one home to his forever family.

Please go to her blog here, and check out the raffle. You can go down a few posts and see her heart for adoption shine through very clearly. Please consider participating in her raffle, and praying for her family as they go through this journey, plus for their little one who is waiting for them.

The cuddly creature that she is raffling is made by my good friend Shabby Shae, so be sure to check out her blog too.

Thank you so much!!

Excellent, Praisewothy ...

Pin It (continued from yesterday)
(and the day before because I am terribly wordy.)

Convictions are so hard to define, aren't they? I know some of my convictions come from the Lord, but others probably don't. Others are because that's how we've always done it, or from other pressures. I think it would probably be a good idea one day to list out all of my convictions and try to examine where they came from. I'd probably be surprised.

I'm praying now as my children are beginning to develop their own convictions. I'd love to pray that they look just like mine, but I know they probably won't, and really, probably shouldn't. I'm sure as they grow up and the Lord leads them, they'll develop their own thoughts and ideas, as they should. I pray that the convictions I have now regarding them will be blessings to them, and not the words of a mom who just didn't want them to have any fun.

I pray that even now they will begin to get into the habit of thinking about what is true, noble, pure, right, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy and will see if the things they would like to allow into their lives fit into that.

I pray that they'll see that the things that aren't overtly, glaringly, wrong may not necessarily be right either, and that that is the toughest thing because sometimes subtle things worm their ways into our heads and hearts and move our focus.

I pray for grace for them as well, to cover mistakes that have been made and to protect innocence that our world seems to be on a mission to destroy. I pray for that grace for me as well!

(And maybe a little peace because one child who lives at this house is quite angry with me right now because something she enjoyed did not meet this standard and has been removed. She did at least start speaking to me again after a while, and after she realized she would not be able to manipulate me into wavering. I'm calling that progress!)

... true, noble, pure, right, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy ... think upon such things ...
(That's a paraphrase of Phil 4:8, btw, and from memory, so I'm willing to bet that the words aren't in the right order. ;) )

Right, Lovely, Admirable ...

Pin It (continuation from yesterday)

The oldest and I had a discussion about convictions yesterday, and how the Lord is perfectly capable of convicting me one way and someone else another way. That is a TOUGH thing to understand! If I am just now grasping that, at 41 years old, how can I hope for my 12 year old to get it? That if one family has this set of convictions, believing firmly that the Lord gave them to them, and we have THIS set of convictions, also believing firmly that the Lord gave them to us, and they're different convictions, how can they be from the same Lord? How does that work?

It just does though. It's not a salvation issue. The Lord knows our weaknesses, and I think a lot of the time He puts convictions in us to protect us from areas which would harm us. Our convictions are not going to save us, and are not for me to pass judgment on anyone when their convictions are different than mine. And not only that - the convictions I have today may totally change over time and the Lord's leading. Tough concept.

(Personal example - a few years ago, I firmly believed that EVERY Christian family should homeschool. Oh my. Very naive of me, and I am thankful that the Lord kept His hand firmly over my mouth before I decided that my convictions should be shared and enforced upon everyone else. Oh, and that I should stand in judgment of everyone who didn't feel those same convictions.)

So now I'm having a conversation with my daughter regarding the tv show I talked about yesterday. She wanted to call her friend who IS allowed to see it and tell her that she shouldn't. I know part of the motivation is that my child likes being "in the know" and it will bother her that her friend will know what's going on with that show and she won't. At this point, suffice it to say that my daughter does NOT have the personal conviction that the show isn't one she should watch. She's 12, so personal convictions aren't really a formed thing yet.

All I can tell her is this: true, noble, pure, right, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy ... think about such things. And, if what you want to read/watch/listen to does not bring you to think about such things, then maybe it's something inappropriate.

(to be continued tomorrow)

True, Noble, Pure ...

Pin It Anyone who has read here for a while knows that I have STRUGGLED with where to lay down the boundaries, especially with the "in a huge rush to grow up" oldest. The argument usually goes like this:

Mom is uncomfortable with a certain thing. (book, movie, TV show, friendship ... whatever.)
Oldest says please.
Oldest says her friends are allowed to do that certain thing.
Oldest says please.
Oldest says she'll wash the dishes for a month.
Mom is sorely tempted. ;)

And there it sits. On a few things I give in, on a few things I don't, but I neglected more often than not to definitively draw the line, or explain WHY I feel like the line is where it should be.

With some things it's easy. She saw the trailer for Vampires Suck on TV and decided that was a movie she would like to see. I admit, the trailer DID make it look quite funny. I knew there was no way in the world I would allow her to see that movie, but I didn't tell her that. We looked at the trailer, then looked at some reviews. We looked first at the non-Christian reviews, which, predictably, said it was awful. Then we looked at the Christian reviews, which, also predictably, said it was awful. I had her read the review and was thrilled when she looked at me with big eyes and said "OH NO I should NOT be seeing that movie!!" (Of course then she went on a campaign to state that no one should see it ... another post, another day.) That issue was solved.

With some things it's not so easy. There is a tv show that she enjoys, that had me wavering over allowable or not. I DID let her watch it some last year, and now I regret that. I was feeling convicted over what I was exposing my child to, and finally decided last week that the show was something we needed to not have in our lives. The argument began.

You let me watch it last year!
I love that show!
My friends watch it!
This is so unfair!
You don't want me to have any fun!

Sigh. I don't want my child to hate me. It's so tempting to give in just for the peace around here.

But, if I do that, what am I allowing her to dwell her mind on? I learned from the whole Twilight thing and regret allowing that because for a while, it was taking over our lives. EV.ER.Y.THING. was Twilight related. Conversation, artwork, decoration, music. Seriously everything.

The one good thing that came from that is that it became a great example as to why we allow what we allow, and why we draw the boundaries where we do. She knows that I was terribly uncomfortable about the vampire obsession that was starting to take over around here. Finally I was able to get through to her that I didn't personally think the book was BAD. I didn't think it was a sin for her to read it. My problem was that her mind was seeming to dwell on it.

True, noble, pure, right, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy ... think upon such things.

(to be continued tomorrow)

A Random Day in the Life

Pin It I had a fun day yesterday! After being rained out on Monday, a couple of friends and I were able to dash off to Houston yesterday to sell some homeschool books, buy some new ones, and just have fun visiting for the day. Oh, and La Madeleine. Pardon me while I drool for just a moment.

The find of the day? Teaching Textbooks math for half off! Woot! Okay, the find of the day was a total toss-up between that and the tiramisu at La Madeleine. Just keeping it real. The math won out by a very small margin. Something about the saving $75 just barely won out over the tiramisu decadence. Barely.

My friend's kids kept my kids. Apparently mine had a group grumpiness thing going on. We weren't even out of the driveway before it began. "I didn't want to tell you this, but SHE ..." (If you REALLY didn't want to tell me, perhaps it could have waited for more than FIVE SECONDS after seeing me!) This was followed, of course, by the obligatory "Well, SHE ..." This went back and forth for a couple of minutes, then naturally, "and then HE did ..." Poor little Brendan was buckled into his carseat, minding his own business, and was dragged into the girls' argument. He of course added his thoughts on the matter. And then promptly went to sleep. Oh how we love the power naps. :-/

So evidently my children, all three, were little terrors yesterday. Fabulous. Makes me can't wait to have another Mom's Day Out.

One leaves for camp today. The house is going to be so very quiet while she's gone. The funny thing? She's the quiet one. It cracks me up that the child who really is quiet will be gone for a few days and the whole house will be quieter. Part of that will be the constant running Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber soundtrack will be off for a few days.

Oh, and while she's gone? The house will be having some vampire extermination. I gave in a little, and they seem to be taking over. Camp can clear her mind of such things, and I'll take care of clearing the physical space of them. Your book? Why no, hon. I have no idea. Well, yes, I did do some light cleaning in your room while you were gone because I missed you and wanted you to come home to a nice, clean room. Because I love you. I'll let you know if I come across that book though. ;)

Will her brother survive without her here? I told him last night that she was going and the boy got teary. Seriously. He drew her a picture - in which she was pregnant with a cat. Not sure what THAT'S about, but I packaged it up to be delivered to her at camp.

Her sister on the other hand, has been dancing around with glee and offering to help her pack. I'm sure it's all an act. ;)

The real question? How on earth will my big girl survive without her cell phone and music. Stay tuned, I'll keep you posted.

Over-Protective or Under-Vigilant

Pin It Oh my heavens, it's hard being a parent!

I remember my friend Di saying "little people, little problems. Big people, big problems." At the time I had a toddler and an infant and hadn't slept in six months and giggled thinking that parenting would be so much easier when there were no more diapers in my shopping cart and I could be reasonably certain that I could leave the house without spit-up on me anywhere.

Then the toddler became a little girl and the infant became a toddler. I think it DID get easier, at least a little. Or maybe it was just that I could sleep every now and then, so my outlook improved.

Then the little girl became a big girl, and the toddler became a little girl, and we added another infant. And subtracted a lot of sleep. The big girl did become more independent, which sounded like a good thing at the time, but really wasn't. She became more social with more influences, and really wasn't content to sit and watch Sesame Street anymore. The little girl was at the mostly easy phase - potty trained and sleeping on her own, but no independence yet. Diapers were in the cart again and the lack of sleep circles appeared.

Now we have a big girl who can't wait to be a teen, another wanna-be big girl who is in the in-between stage, and a little boy. Everyone handles their own potty needs. Everyone sleeps in their own bed. Two of the three can even fix their own meals. But, life has not gotten easier.

Now, I understand what Di meant. I suspect that I will understand it better over the next few years. Now it's not the question of "should I just put them in my bed so I can get some sleep?" and "WHY OH WHY did nobody tell me I had spit-up in my HAIR?" and "Diaper blowout? Again?" Oh no. Now it's "OH MY HEAVENS SHE WANTS TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND. And read Twilight!" and "should we just implant that phone into her ear?"

I don't want to be the over-protective mom who has the kid like one of my college roommates, who wanted to have every single experience she felt like she had missed out on in her first month of college. Neither do I want to be the under-vigilant mom who has the kid who grows up knowing way much, or without defined rules.

I'm discovering more and more that moms just spend a lot of time walking a tightrope. What works for one child, or one family, will likely not be the best choice for another one. (LOL Have you met my daughters? Night and Day?)

All of this to say - Di, you were right. The little people problems really were easier. Give me spit up in my hair over deciding which text package to choose, please! And the funny thing? I'm sure in a couple of years I will be saying give me "is Twilight appropriate?" over whatever life is going to look like then.

I'm having continual prayers for wisdom to make the right decisions, and for mercy and grace when I don't. And for reminders when I look at my children and don't have the first clue, that the Lord loves them even more than I do, and that not only is His grace sufficient for me, it is sufficient for them as well.

The Upsy Downsy Topsy Turvy Roller Coaster Week

Pin It And nope, we weren't at Disney. That's next week.

It was a wild week at our house.

Here's the whole story, and I'll try to make it concise. Last week, we took Madelyn to the doctor because she's had a lot of headaches and nausea lately. We really figured it was allergies and that it was time to treat her for them. Dr. said that's probably exactly right, but we should do a CT scan to be on the safe side. So we did.

On Monday, Jim left Afghanistan. For good. Woohoo!

On Tuesday they called and said the CT scan showed something and we needed to do an MRI. Within about an hour, she was in the MRI machine. Mommy was panicking.

On Wednesday they called and said everything looked okay. Mommy was rejoicing. Then mommy sat down and wondered if they said the BLOODWORK from the previous week was fine, or if the MRI was fine. Ugh. Finally decided to call, and it was the bloodwork. (Which is good, but it was the MRI that I was worried about.)

On Thursday, Mad spent most of the day in bed really hurting. On Thursday, I spent the day in a panic. I called the doctor and they didn't have any results yet. On Thursday, Jim left Kuwait and was back in the United States.

On Friday, Mad felt fine and we spent the whole day out of the house. It was a good day, and I decided to just wait until Monday rather than stalking the doctor's office. Then I impulsively picked up the phone and called and they still didn't have the results. Okay. Then she called back a few minutes later.

It's calcium. That's it. No big deal. It might just be something that happens, it might be something *minor* causing it. No big deal. Amazing, huh?

Oh, and Friday, we found out that Jim will probably be home on Monday. On Friday, all of the kids got to enjoy time with their friends. Mommy got to enjoy a good night's sleep.

What a crazy week. It was nice to go to bed last night and just sleep and be relaxed. Very very nice. I'd like to do that again, please.

I am unequipped.

Pin It Sorry for my blogging absence lately. I've been busy being unequipped. Some moms, I understand, get to ease into the preteen years. Others get thrust into it overnight, or so it seems. I am CLEARLY into that last category.

Seriously. I woke up one morning and my sweet, compliant little girl was replaced with someone who walked in, growled at me, and requested coffee. She would also like her clothing budget quadrupled and an hour a day to spend on itunes, along with an unlimited allowance for that. While we're at it, could we please add unlimited texting, because (DUH MOM!) CLEARLY, 500 texts is just nowhere near enough.

I could have handled all of these changes happening over the course of a year. I'd probably still complain that my baby was growing up too quickly, but I like to think I could handle it spread out over a year.

But no.

This has all been in the last WEEK.

I am hopelessly unequipped, and unprepared. I really did think I had longer before having to deal with things like this. That's why we homeschool, right? Giving the kids freedom to be kids, so they don't have to deal with peer pressure to grow up too quickly.

Sounds great in theory, but as it turns out, they grow up when they grow up, and apparently, you can't stop it.

I've discovered that a whole lot of the "I won't let my kids do that" and "my kids will always do this" work really well, when the child is six. Maybe some of my theories need to be revisited though, now that the said child is old enough to have an opinion.

Don't get me wrong, she's a GOOD kid. She's not rebellious, not trying to get around the rules, or undermine them in any way. She's just growing up. She would like to know the reason for the rules, and for at least some of them, she has a right to know the reason. We've had some fabulous talks over the last week, and I'm so grateful for that.

That's not to say that I haven't had fabulous talks, then walked away both thanking God that she was talking to me about things that are going on, and pleading with God to give me wisdom to handle these various situations.

I'm trying to find out who I am as the mom of a preteen, and at the same time, I'm learning who my preteen is. This is really an exciting time for her, and for me. I'm so proud of her, and scared for me, and wanting to give her a little bit of freedom, and at the same time wanting to hold on tight.

(dang it. This was supposed to be a light-hearted post. Why on earth am I getting all teary?)

Okay, before I turn this into a big ole' sobfest, I'll just close it now. I know this is all completely normal, and even good ... and that the Lord will lead me to be the mom she needs, and will direct her footsteps as she grows up. I'm feeling very thankful that I know He will equip us both, but on my own? I've been considering hiding her away in her room for the next ten or so years.

The Lazy Blogger

Pin It That's me!

I really haven't had anything to say. Weird.

I do have a couple of PSA's though.

PSA #1: If you tell a four year old child that he will not get a shot, and then he needs to have blood drawn, he will see that as a shot and will think that you lied to him. Even though he feels completely miserable and will want you to comfort him, he will be mad at you. It will take loads of comforting plus a nice toy to get him to forgive you. It will probably require sedation to get him back into the doctor's office. He will probably need some too.

So now you know.

We had a rough week around here. Said four year old has been fighting off a cough and cold for a couple of weeks now. Monday night he was wilty, and then he came home from MDO on Tuesday completely wilted, and by Tuesday afternoon was running fever. I called at 4:58 pm and made an appointment for Wednesday, assuming that it was either ears or throat. Then the fever shot up, and the boy was crying in pain, holding his side. I was thisclose to panicking, and kept praying that the Lord would just tell me if I needed to take him to the ER. He slept and whimpered all night long, and we went to his appointment a little early because he was still completely miserable on Wednesday.

The doctor said he thought it was a stomach virus. Huh. I was thinking no way was that a stomach virus. Then the doctor said he would do a blood test just to make sure. I was kind of relieved about that. (You didn't miss the PSA, right? Take note of that, please.)

Hey guess what.

Wednesday night, Brendan started feeling a little better, thanks to Tylenol and Zofran.

Thursday, he was still "off" but still a little better. Thursday night, he said "hey, I'm hungry!"

Friday, he's fine.

So, it was a stomach virus. This brings me to another PSA.

PSA #2: Sometimes stomach viruses involve fever, even high fever. Who even knew that? (Okay, evidently our doctor did. Thankfully.)

See, I want my blog to give back to its readers. You can thank me later.

(And thankfully today, he's all better, and so far, nobody else has been affected.)

Something is wrong here!

Pin It From a child last night: "You don't love me! If you loved me, you would buy this toy for me!"

From a child just a minute ago: "You don't love me! If you loved me, you would be willing to do this thing for me!"

The last night child is wanting a backpack that has a stuffed dog in it. A ridiculously overpriced backpack with a stuffed dog in it. The child today is wanting me to cram a five hour drive into an already overbooked day.

Oh my at the over-indulgence I'm seeing here!

As far as the backpack goes, I gave this child some options to earn the money for the backpack. Things like a clean room, made-up bed, dishwasher emptied, vacuuming. I pay well for these services, in part because it's all stuff I don't want to do, and in part because the sooner she has the ridiculously overpriced backpack in her possession, the sooner she'll start whining and wanting something else. :-/ The backpack costs $18. So far she has earned $9, so halfway there. This is if I am kind and do not subtract money for things like temper tantrums and excessive whininess. (I should subtract for HER tantrums and whininess too). ;)

As far as the drive goes, we had plans for this child to go visit my parents this weekend. Several things happened to make that not an option. Rather than accepting a "no, I'm sorry, but not this time", this child has devised about 37 options so that she gets what she wants. Never mind at the inconvenience to everyone else.

I'm really really aggravated with them. I'm sure I'll feel bad later for using them for blog fodder, but I'm really at a loss and almost in shock at the selfishness I am seeing. (I know, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree ... sigh ...)

I think it's time to have a little talk about being thankful for what we have. Maybe add in a side order of "the world does not revolve around you" and for dessert, my personal favorite, "money doesn't grow on trees." Dinner is served.

Now excuse me while I go have a temper tantrum because I still haven't heard from the plumber. For THREE DAYS now I have had to brush my teeth in the kids' bathroom. Yes, that means walking an extra FOUR FEET every morning and evening, and sometimes in the middle of the day if there's been garlic. And my children think they have it rough.

Irony, anyone?

If You Give a Mom an Hour (to herself)

Pin It If you give a mom an hour to herself,
She'll be so excited to have some quiet time, but first
She'll probably decide to do a load of laundry
(Since all you really have to do is put it in, so it doesn't take much time from the hour)
Along the way, she'll probably notice a few scattered toys
So, she'll pick them up after doing then laundry
While picking them up, she'll probably notice some more dirty clothes
She'll pick them up
While doing that, she'll probably notice shoes in the living room
She'll put them back where they belong
Along the way, she'll probably see some dishes that were left out
So, she'll take them to the sink
She'll think that she really ought to just do the dishes
Then she'll realize that 1/4 of her free hour is gone
So she'll decide to sit down and read a book
Along the way, she'll notice a child's schoolbook pushed halfway under the couch
She'll know that to leave that would mean that it would be pushed all the way under, and she'll know she won't remember seeing it, so she'll go and pick it up and put it where it belongs
Along the way, she'll see a DVD on the floor without its case
DVD's are expensive, so she'll pick it up to find its case
Right after finding its case, she'll see a sharpie left where a four year old will certainly see it
Remembering how much fun it is to get sharpie off of walls, she'll grab the sharpie and put it away
Along the way she'll step on a tube of lipgloss
She'll grab it and put it away and realize that now half her time is gone
She'll go to sit down again and realize that the cushions for the couch are all on the floor
So, she'll pick those up
She'll realize that there are 47 stuffed animals piled up under the cushions
So, she'll pick those up
Then she'll notice that the floor really needs to be vacuumed
So, she'll do that
Then she'll see that the floor in the kitchen has little bits of lunch around every chair, so she'll sweep that up
Oh no, now there's only fifteen minutes left, really not long enough to get comfortable and read her book
Plus the washer is done
So, she'll move the clothes to the dryer, start another load, and figure she might just have enough time to do the dishes
Then she'll look around at the clean house
She'll breathe a happy sigh
She'll go and get her little darlings
And they'll decimate the house again in about 6.8 seconds
But she'll remember that she loves them and missed them for the hour they were gone
So she'll kiss them
And start another load of laundry

The End.