Pin It I know I've talked about the (in)courage site before. If you haven't gone there, please do. You really will thank me for it. I am just amazed at the number of posts that simply resonate with me there. I think "oh, I'm the only one who deals with this particular issue" and then go there and see a post addressing that very thing. And, usually it has tons of comments. What? I'm not the ONLY one who feels that way? Or struggles with that thing?
(as an aside - resonate is the word of the day - I saw the best illustration of this word! It was in a Beth Moore study; I think Daniel. She had a lady come up next to a piano and sing a note. You could actually hear the note on the piano, because the strings resonated with the lady's voice. I love it. We hear things and they cause similar stirrings within us; that's resonate!)
Today's (in)courage post:
I have actually been trying lately to slow down. I'm always rushing the kids. "Get into the car, we're leaving RIGHT. NOW." and "Would you hurry up and get your seatbelt buckled?" and "Why are you STILL doing your math? I gave it to you an hour ago!" I've been trying to ask myself if it matters if it takes even five additional minutes to get out the door, or if the thirty seconds I might save by rushing them to get their seatbelts buckled are really going to make any difference. (The math thing ... well ... it probably really doesn't matter if it takes an additional half hour to complete the math, but I'm not willing to give that one up just yet.)
Fighting Being Still
This one is along the same lines, and also resonated with me.
But then there was this one:
I know I've said before that I don't really want to be perfect, I really just want you to think I am. And I know that right now, as in the other seventeen times I've typed that, you're gasping in shock that I'm really not so perfect. I totally suffer from this disease though. I'm driving myself and my children crazy with it. Despite my recent redo of my bedroom, and the current redo of the redo, I'm not a decorator, nor do I play one on TV, nor will I ever be one. For me, it's more being so afraid of being overwhelmed that I'm going to whatever lengths to avoid it. That has led to all kinds of frustration on the part of my children - to the point of me actually checking under the girls' beds to see if there is anything under there, and telling them that their room is not clean if I find anything. Okay, it's not a bad thing to be good stewards of what we have, and that includes keeping our space clean, and I really don't want half of their belongings stuffed under the bed, but seriously? Me checking under their beds every day? Don't I have enough other stuff to do? Think I could maybe let that one go a little bit?
That post talks about finding beauty amidst the chaos. I tend to get so bogged down with any kind of chaos that I'm physically incapable of seeing beauty. I know that part of this is the little control freak that lives in me. I haven't figured out how to let her go yet.
Maybe the first step really is admitting that there's a problem? Actually I seem to not have any trouble with that. It's the next step - what to do about the problem that I seem to struggle with. I am seeing that this quest for perfection, if that's even the right word, is a form of bondage. It's one thing when I put myself into that bondage, but when I see myself so desperately wanting my children to fit into my definition of perfection, well, that's a problem. (And they would definitely agree with that!)
I don't have the solution. The Lord does though, and I'm so thankful that He is still working on me!
So, have you gone to the (in)courage site yet? Do it do it do it do it!! I know you will find posts there that resonate with you as well, and that you will be encouraged.
(edited to add: I'm not going for the cover of a magazine. Lots of y'all have seen my house and know that very well. ;) It's more of an "I got this" attitude, or that I can handle things easily. Just so you know, sometimes I can, but lots ... maybe most ... of the time, I can't. Anyway ... I have some nice, quiet time this evening and I'm still mulling thoughts over in my head.)