This is a reach. I honestly don't know if I'm coming or going these days. One day I'll be thinking about Troy and can just laugh at all the typical growing up siblings stuff and the next minute we'll be out of the dressing that I like and I will cry and want to scream. I guess that's how grief goes.
I do believe that God is good and God is sovereign, even though I don't understand, so I really am trying to keep my gratitude journal going. I usually write these posts in advance and I didn't last night, so I guess this is an "on the fly" gratitude journal. Just forgive me if I recycle a bunch of things.
251. It is raining as I type. Like a serious soaking rain. A desperately needed rain. Usually I am complaining about all the rain we get down here, but it's been over a month since there has been any kind of rain! I was in the mood for a good storm, and that's what's happening.
252. I have downloaded a bunch of free books for my Nook and I am really enjoying reading! Most of the free books I have are from authors with whom I'm not familiar, so it's been a surprise when I've started reading them. Most of them I have thoroughly enjoyed.
253. For a fabulous day with friends on Friday. Last Thursday was a bad day. From being attacked by the radio to running out of my favorite dressing to dealing with some regrets to just stuff ... bad day. Bad to the point where I almost canceled going shopping with friends on Friday. I am so glad I didn't. It was nice to just get away, to get the last of our curriculum for next year purchased, to eat some yummy Mexican food, and just relax.
254. For Pandora and a radio receiver in my car, so I can create my own radio station on my phone, play it on my stereo, skip songs I either don't like or am not emotionally stable enough to hear, and listen to what I want to listen to.
255. hehe ... the aforementioned storm just knocked the power out and the little one kind of freaked. While I'm in here still typing, I'm listening to the oldest comforting him. Very sweet. (Don't worry about my parenting abilities - a) he is being a BIT dramatic and b) she is good to him and loves this sort of thing. If my assistance were required I'd be in there.)
256. For the smell of rain, which I was rather enjoying before every candle we own has been lit. In a few minutes, I will actually be enjoying the smell of candles. Apparently we take power outages very seriously around here.
257. For the fact that I had already planned to have sandwiches for supper, so I'm not needing to change any plans at all if the power stays out for a while.
258. For about six hours of school and the 2010/2011 school year will be officially wrapped up for us. This has been a good year, but now I'm done and ready for our (light but still existent) summer schedule.
259. For puzzles and games, which are being pulled out as I type to entertain small children. I'd love to send them out to play in the rain, but not so much with the thunder and lightening!
260. For reassurance, as I am haunted by the memory of a 10 year old sobbing at a funeral, that the Lord has a plan for that child, and that He loves him. (And his brothers, of course ... I just looked at my sweet 10 year old nephew and his similarity to my 10 year old daughter, and my heart has been tied up in knots ever since.)
Y'all please keep praying for my family. My mom starts her radiation treatments today and needs all the prayer support she can get. I'd love to ask y'all to pray for NO side effects of the radiation. Pray for my dad as well, as he is taking care of her and my nephews, and just for an extra measure of comfort. This grieving thing is hard for me, so I know it has to be so much harder for them.
I will be linking up with Ann's blog, A Holy Experience today, so feel free to go visit and see some more gratitude journals.